Air Hug

I like people who aren’t afraid to walk around with a stain on their shirt. I like people who laugh at their own jokes. I like people who push boundaries and think outside the box. I like people who dance when they get happy. I like people who give compliments to strangers and make friends with a passer byer. I like people who blurt out impulsive thoughts and get excited over others’ success. I like people who wear mix matched clothes and unpainted or chipped nail polish. I like people that get fast food on a busy day and get “hangry.” I like people that can’t spell, mispronounce names, and get grammar wrong. I like people that are “rough around the edges” and “don’t beat around the bush.” I like people who are blunt and assertive. I like people that acknowledge their sensitivities and weaknesses and own them. I like people who are different and complex. I like people who leave you wondering. I like people that “fly by the seat of their pants.” I like people who hug and I like people who don’t hug. I like people who are “quirky.” I like people who believe in mercy, love, and Grace…. I like people with docile hearts…. who are open to change… willing to sacrifice.

Who do you like?

Why is it that imperfections make people endearing and likable to some and not to others?

I have a friend, a dear friend. One I have known my whole life. One I love and makes me smile at the thought of them and their laugh. One that is so beautiful and challenging, yet simple and fun.

This person is not a hugger. I make them hug me. This person does not like to say I love you or receive I love you, but I make them say it and hear it anyway. Like I said we’ve known each other our whole lives, so they are willing to do these things… sometimes…

But we don’t get to see each other that often. Life has caused us to live in different states and adulthood and careers are priorities that conflict our schedules and ability to cultivate our already profound relationship.

But this doesn’t mean we aren’t connected. We are forever linked… I mean I won’t let us not be in each other’s lives… we’re home.

So, this person, took forever to hug me. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts… I’m a hugger and will often challenge people who are not huggers, by saying…. “one day you’re going to hug me” and guess what… they always come for a hug. I put the work in. I’m determined.

I worked so hard for so long. My dear friend, you deserved it. ❤️

For a while we had to problem solve to meet them where they were comfortable, and we would “air hug.” Now air hugging is exactly what it sounds like. We simply hug the air where we are. In the same room or miles away. Sometimes they lie about air hugging.. so, I’m looking like a moonstruck lunatic air hugging in a waiting room or on the sofa while husband looks at me funny… but I will never pass up a hug, not even an air hug.

I tell this because this person hugs me now whenever they see me. They tell me they love me unprompted. They call me during life struggles and rely on me as home. And I do the same.

Consistency.

People respond to consistency. People like when you like them. I know, so weird but they do! They know if its genuine or not. They can tell.

Its not our job to have people love or even like us. It’s our job to like and love others. We cannot control anyone but ourselves. We can choose to love. We can put ourselves out there…. Sometimes so much so we get burned by our vulnerability and openness. I’m not saying it’s not ok to “not like” someone, that’s totally ok. But you could accept them. You could meet them where they are.

You don’t have to like the people I like… I’ll like them for you… But we can learn to coexist with people we don’t like. They still deserve respect, mutual regard. Every person does.

It might seem confusing that I’m making this connection between my dear, dear friend and the idea of given mutual respect and regard. I make connections to abstract concepts a lot. I believe in the good. Sometimes it’s hard, but we must challenge ourselves to find out how to like, love others. We could figure out how the person receives love, accepts it… how comfortable they are with being “liked.” Love can be unconditional. In the other hand, like can be conditional. We choose these 2 concepts of “like” and “love” and how we perceive them.

We decide how determined we will be in our journey of finding goodness in others and challenging the world to do the same.

Does that even make sense? Or am I just a Moonstruck lunatic?

Oh… I almost forgot… my inspiration for this blog…..

I love you Framp…. and you love me 😉😍